I'll tell you the answer if you will gather a mustard seed from every house where a musician is happy with their playing.
Parables aside, you are far from alone. The fact you aren't happy about where you are is good, as long as you don't become overly negative.
You asked for tips which are hard to give without hearing you play. I'll offer some general advice with the caveat that I am just another struggling student of music. In no particular order.
1. Calm down and learn to love the process of learning. It takes a lot of work to become fluent. If you live 150 years, you'll still find stuff you need to work on. Just relax. Music is supposed to be fun.
2. In general, musicians need to work on their ear. There are lots of methods. If you have trouble finding one, ask.
3. Break problems down into smaller and smaller chunks, whatever it takes to solve them.
4. Learn whatever tune you are shedding to the point of not having to think about it. Kurt talks about this in one of the Gdansk videos. A lot of players just don't know the harmony and melody well enough.
5. Do a bit of scale work. You could check out David Berkman's Guide to Creative Practicing for some ideas.
6. Transcribe a few phrases you really love. Analyze them and extrapolate them. Rinse/repeat.
7. Work on chords and harmony. Check out Ted Greene's site for some of the best chordal stuff you will find on earth. For free.
8. Play with friends. There is strength in numbers.
9. Work on your touch and tone. Play whatever it is you are playing with a beautiful sound. Even simple shit sounds amazing when played with great time, touch, and tone. Ask Bill Frisell.